But as Nelson notes, “The work is to remember more often than we forget.” Nelson makes a distinction between gratitude-a momentary emotion-and gratefulness, an “ overall orientation” that is “not contingent on something happening to us, but rather a way that we arrive to life.” Part of being human is that we will forget our past suffering and start to take our current life for granted. I remember thinking, what if this is my whole world now, what if this is all I have? And then I thought, I can always love these people. And yet, I had nurses and technicians and doctors and cleaners who came into my room every single day. I was in the hospital, separated from all my friends and family and tethered to all kinds of IVs and dealing with pain. Nevertheless, she writes that she was constantly on the lookout for opportunities to cultivate gratefulness: Kristi Nelson, the executive director of A Network for Grateful Living, faced her own mortality at the age of 33, when she received a cancer diagnosis and had to undergo multiple surgeries, chemo, and radiation. Indeed, several studies have found that people who have confronted difficult circumstances report that their appreciation for life itself has increased, and some of the most grateful people have gone through some of the hardest experiences. Chesterton put it, “Until we realize that things might not be, we cannot realize that things are.” When individuals become aware that their advantages are not guaranteed, many then come to appreciate them more. After all, humans have a natural tendency to adapt and become used to situations that are relatively stable. There are many basic advantages of life itself that we too often take for granted. I believe that an overlooked route to gratitude is exposure to difficult circumstances. What’s more, even more people-69 percent of respondents-reported expecting to feel grateful two to three months in the future. Those who reported feeling more grateful also reported being happier. It found that even during those terrifying early months of the pandemic, more than 56 percent of people reported feeling grateful, which was 17 percent higher than any other positive emotion. A recent study surveyed more than 500 people from March to May 2020. The human capacity for resiliency is quite remarkable and underrated. Indeed, a number of positive mental-health outcomes are linked to a regular gratitude practice, such as reduced lifetime risk for depression, anxiety, and substance-abuse disorders. In recent years, scientists have begun to recognize that the practice of gratitude can be a key driver of post-traumatic growth after an adverse event, and that gratitude can be a healing force. How to Build a Life: Sit with negative emotions, don’t push them away Importantly, it’s not the traumatic event itself that leads to growth (no one is thankful for COVID-19), but rather how the event is processed, the changes in worldview that result from the event, and the active search for meaning that people undertake during and after it. Researchers who study “ post-traumatic growth” have found that people can grow in many ways from difficult times-including having a greater appreciation of one’s life and relationships, as well as increased compassion, altruism, purpose, utilization of personal strengths, spiritual development, and creativity. Tragic optimism involves the search for meaning amid the inevitable tragedies of human existence, something far more practical and realistic during these trying times. The antidote to toxic positivity is “ tragic optimism,” a phrase coined by the existential-humanistic psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl. No amount of positive thinking exercises will change this truth.” As the gratitude researcher Robert Emmons of UC Davis writes, “To deny that life has its share of disappointments, frustrations, losses, hurts, setbacks, and sadness would be unrealistic and untenable. Telling someone to “stay positive” in the middle of a global crisis is missing out on an opportunity for growth, not to mention likely to backfire and only make them feel worse. This “ toxic positivity” is ultimately a denial of reality. Refusing to look at life’s darkness and avoiding uncomfortable experiences can be detrimental to mental health. Countless books have been written on the “power of gratitude” and the importance of counting your blessings, but that sentiment may feel like cold comfort during the coronavirus pandemic, when blessings have often seemed scant.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |